So here is an honest email for y'all. I think it will help me in the future. So really it's just for me since I stink at Journal writing.
On Wednesday I puked my guts out that night. It was HORRIBLE! It was so strange. I was fine all day. I was biking like a mad woman. That morning we met with the Mellas at a meet and greet. And after that we just did missionary work. We rode our bikes, talked to everyone, and we got a ride from our Relief Society President to our investigator Sarah so should get a blessing from the Elders. It was at a park, so Sister Ahlstrom took Sarah's kids to the park next door. We went with her, and I met this woman named Clara. She is Catholic and from Iran. We started talking, and I learned that her Mother was sick. So I asked if I could pray for her mother. She said yes.
I started to pray, and I knew that her mom was going to die when I was praying. So I started praying that she would feel at peace with what was going to happen. And then I got this horrible headache during the prayer that literally made me feel like I was going to die. And it was all during this prayer. And I said weird things during it. I said that she would see her husband again even though I didn't know that her husband died. She asked me after how I knew that. And after the prayer she hugged me, and we went our separate ways.
After that we went to a lesson with Lisa Vazquez. And I was in pain the whole entire time. Her voice for some reason just kept hurting me. So after that lesson, Sister Ahlstrom drove to her home to grab me some Advil. And while she was in her home, I was puking in her garden. haha. Embarrassing. And after that we went home, and I kept puking. I am never eating again. And then the Elders came, and the gave me a blessing. And my headache was GONE! And I was better. It was crazy.
This week was also hard emotionally for me. I felt like a really bad missionary. It didn't belp that someone didn't help me feel like a good one. It was really hard. And then on Thursday, training calls came and so did leadership, and Sister Steg got the call for being an STL. And I was really scared for her. I was so scared that she would let it get to her head, and she would control me and other Sisters even more. I let her know that too. Haha. I have become really honest, but filled with Charity with my honesty with people on my mission. Everything I say before hand, I pray really hard before I say it. And I had this huge impression to tell her what I was scared of.
And then Fourth of July happened. And I was kinda right before. It was a miserable day. And I felt like dust. And then I stood up all night that night just talking to Heavenly Father. I was scared of her not leaving, and of her leaving. And I have never wanted a companion to leave! And I felt like crap. I felt like a crappy companion. Like a crappy friend. Because I know she is going through a hard time. I love her so much, and I think that is why it hurt so bad. I just want the best for her, and I wanted to make sure that our New Mission President knew what the best thing for her was, and I just felt like poo. And then I was mad at God for not sending me to Brazil because I would have never met her, and I would have never been her companion, and I would have never have wanted to help her out so bad, and I would have never been a failure. And then I wanted to go home.
So on Saturday, the whole day, I kept praying that Sister Hansen and Sister Card would be inspired to have exchanges with me. And we got a call from them two hours later during weekly planning. And it happened! Sister Hansen came with me. Turns out they had the same fears that I had. And they wanted to give Sister Steg a talk. I have a hard time opening up to other Sisters, but Sister Hansen was my first STL I have ever went on exchanges with, and I just started crying with her. I just told her everything that I have been through this transfer. How I was confused because I wanted her to stay, but I was scared of her staying and being an STL. And I told her I felt like I didn't belong ever since the interview with President Watkins when he told me he put me in places because he didn't know where to put me. And I told her I felt like a failure missionary because I have hardly spoken one word this transfer, and I felt like I made my companion my investigator.
And then she told me things I really needed to hear. She told me Sister Steg had changed so much while I was her companion, and she really needed me, and all I have shown was charity. And then she commanded me to get a blessing. So I did. And it was the sweetest blessing I have ever received. I loved it. I also saw a family that I served with in the Tongan Program. It was awesome. And then we came back with our companions, and I was fine. I was completely fine. I apologized to Sister Steg, and she apologized to me. And now we are again best friends.
I really love that President Watkins was inspired to have us be companions. I needed her to face some demons I didn't realize I still had. She is the hardest working missionary I know. She teaches with so much power and authority. And Heavenly Father knows what he is doing. I needed her a lot. We have laughed way more than we had problems. And I learned to love, and just not control. I have literally just let her control everything because she needed it. She needed to feel control of something. I have learned to be extremely humble with my time with her. It has been hard, but rewarding. I have learned to give God all the glory, and give Him the praise. I have been exhausted. But it has been all worth it. And now I believe in leadership callings. I needed to know that President Mella was inspired, and having an STL help me helped me know he was. Sister Steg is going to do great as an STL. The Lord knows what he is doing.
Sister Steg is being transferred. I kinda feel guilty because the thoughts I had when I let fear fill my thoughts instead of faith. But I know God knows what he is doing. He loves these people here so much. Especially the missionaries.
I love y'all so much. Thanks for letting write my experiences down, and letting me be honest. haha. I hope y'all are doing great!
Te amo
Sister Powell
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