From Sydney

Let me take you back to a time long time ago, in a place much more different and to a person much more different.

 

I wake up and I put on my lovely Cannon Center Clothes. I feel horrible and sick. I do not want to go to work. Alex is drowsly waking up and seriously contemplating not going to her class. But she is a good girl and of course she'll go to her class;) She suddenly gets super excited, and says:

"Call him!"

Him is Mack the Mailman. I groan in the inside. I hate calling people, and I am sick of being let down.

 

I grab my lovely Iphone and scroll down the contact list: Mack the Mailman. I press dial and put the cold glass against my ear. It rings twice and then Mack answers.

 

Hello?

 

Hi, this is Sydney. You told me to call you and ask  you about my-

 

I am sorry tell you there isn't one mission envelope.

 

Oh. Okay.

 

There's two!

 

Tears rush to my eyes and Alex and I are jumping up and down. Alex quickly calls McKenzie, who demands us to skip work and skip school and open it now. Meet Mack right this moment. But we have to go to work and we have to go to school, and we already invited a lot of people to come to our opening tonight.

 

Work is unbearable. I am sick with a fever and I am wondering what that envelope says. My future is going to be decided. I have to get out of my crampped room filled with donuts and cheesecake. I flee to the bathroom and I text Alex telling her to skip class and lets open our Mission Calls.

 

I walk miserably to McKenzie's appartment. Alex is there already and so is Elise. We try to call Katie so she can come, but she doesn't answer the phone. I change out of my nasty shirt that I haven't washed in who knows long to one of Bradyn's Black Sweaters.

 

We decide to open the envelopes.

 

Mom and Dad are on the phones as Alex rips open her call. I look over her shoulder as she begins to read, and I see Salvador Brazil.

 

Soon it's my turn. I open and I read: Sao Paulo East Brazil.

 

A year later, I find myself in San Jose California. I have had 10 different companions, five different areas, I have had to learn two different languages: Spanish and Tongan, and I have had the best time of my life.

 

My mission has been way different than I thought it would be when I opened my mission call a year ago. I can't believe how different it has been. If it was my way, I would be in Brazil right now. I would have a hundred baptisms, fluent in Portuguese, a native companion, possible only two companions. Everything would be easy.

 

But this isn't my mission. It's His. It's always has been. I am just doing His will. I may go to Brazil eventually, I don't know to be honest.

 

This week was hard for me. My very first companion in the field, Sister Hall, is going home this week. I live with her this transfer. I didn't know if I was going to be transferred, I didn't know if I wanted to be transfer, the work was really slow, and everyone just kept reminding me about that darn Visa. And I thought I wasn't being a good missionary because I couldn't let go of Brazil. I couldn't let go of that feeling of knowing that I was going to Brazil and there was a reason when I opened my mission call. My heart was in Brazil this week, and it wouldn't come back. And then I began to doubt, and I cried and cried and cried. Because I was a failure at letting go and I was mourning the loss of an experience that might never happen.

 

Sister Hall, came in, and answered my prayers. She told me that I was the hardest working Visa Waiter she ever saw and that it was okay to be sad about Brazil sometimes. It doesn't make me a bad missionary. That's where my call is. But there is a reason for everything, and there is someone waiting for me here.

 

This week I prayed super hard to Heavenly Father that he would send me to an area this transfer, where I would find that someone that is waiting for me. I told Him that I just wanted to do what he wanted me to do. I really do. I just want to do His will. I love Him so much. And then Saturday came, and I didn't get the transfer call. Nada. And I felt super weird. I don't know how not to be transferred. But there is someone here, where I am right now. I pray every moment of the day that I will find them. Because I love them so much.

 

I love gospel. I love prayer. And I love my Savior Jesus Christ who can take away every pain. I love being a missionary. I have definetely felt my Heavenly Father shaping me into the person he wants me to be. It hurts sometimes, but I love the feeling when I realize it just made me stronger. I love y'all so much! I pray for everyone of you each moment of the day.

 

Te Amo Muito!

 

Sister Powell